All of us had that talk with our closest ones about wanting to move away at some point. You would talk for hours about getting your own place in a new city. After that conversation, a thought must have popped into your head while daydreaming – how cool would moving in with friends be? All of you get along great, you could throw unforgettable parties, do everything together and always have fun. What could go wrong?
Before you go down that road, there are some things you seriously need to consider. If you’ve been influenced by one of the greatest shows ever, and you think you will have so much fun with your roomies, think twice. That’s why we are here to help you see both sides of the situation – the good and the bad. By the end, you should be able to answer a simple question – is it bad to move in with friends?
You can never really know a person before you start living with them. Sharing a home and every aspect of your life is something truly personal, and it can easily ruin a friendship. There is so much stuff that could go wrong. The landlord might drive you nuts and the roomie could forget to lock the door at night or throw out the trash and such issues. So, don’t rush into things head first – take some time to think about everything and approach the situation with eyes wide open. Don’t let yourself be blinded by thinking it will always be just fun; this is the ultimate friendship test.
In the perfect world, you and your roommate(s) will share the same annoying habits, so you wouldn’t even notice them. If you’re both slobs and leave dirty dishes and clothes everywhere – it’s a match made in heaven. In reality, you will come across certain problems sometimes. No two people are compatible on such a level that they never argue while coexisting in close quarters. If you want your friendship to survive, you need to be willing to resolve those issues. Still, there’s the ultimate tip for moving in together that could help you.
One of the best “moving in with friends” tips we have for you is to have open and honest communication at all times. Feel free to talk about the issues. It’s key for relocating efficiently. Keep in mind that moving in with multiple people means more roommates and more problems you have to deal with. So if you were planning on it, think long and hard – is it a good idea to move into a house with friends? As with everything in life, there are upsides and downsides, so here are the main pros and cons you should consider.
Not only will you divide the cost of rent – all home expenses will be shared equally. Think about how much money you will have saved up by the end of the year just by splitting the utility bills in half. Besides sharing expenses, another valid reason to move is the fact that even before you guys arrive at your new address, you will be carrying the load together. Cross-country moving services can be pricey. This way, you can relocate for less money. Unfortunately, this probably won’t fly for packing services since that’s one of the few things you’ll be doing separately.
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Talking about money is tough for some people. Some even consider it to be rude. But it’s one of those things that will eventually have to come up if you’re sharing a home with someone. A difference in income makes it even more complicated, especially if you’re relocating after college and one person is unemployed. That’s why the smartest thing to do would be to get a job before you move. Setting ground rules beforehand is the only way to resolve the issue in a healthy way without you wishing you had moved alone.
Discuss your budgets and goals before the move. Plan everything out, your whole relocating budget. How much you can afford monthly, how much you can spend on hiring cross-country movers, what you want your lifestyle to look like, and so on. If you can’t settle and find a compromise on these fundamental conditions, ditch the idea altogether. If you straightened all of that out, start looking for a place you will both enjoy. All that you need are some house-hunting tips. An advantage of already having a roommate is a safe move and the fact you won’t have to browse through all those roommate websites praying for someone normal, thinking of all the questions to ask your potential roommate.
One of the many benefits of moving in with a roommate is that you automatically have half the chores you would have if you were living on your own. Taking care of the household together can sometimes get complicated and messy. That is why rules are so important. Create a chart for chores, hang it on the fridge, make any arrangement you feel comfortable with, and divide the housework however you want. Create a system for the housework and stick to it if you want to make relocating easier. Help each other out sometimes – being kind is free. That way you will have your friend around for a long time.
But what happens when the system fails because one person is not fulfilling their responsibilities? Before you embark on this journey, be sure to choose a responsible, reliable person that will be an excellent fit. The house must be clean, and bills have to be paid on time. If someone is irresponsible, moving in with them could seem like you’re relocating with a toddler.
Having differences when one person is more laid back and chill than the other is normal. Think about how much you can put up with. We all have that one friend that’s always late and does everything on their own schedule. If you’re used to it and you can manage like that – great. Just make sure they are aware of how long it takes to pack a house. If you’re a total clean freak, you might have a problem when your roomie takes months to unpack after a move.
We often forget the fact that not everyone was raised with the same manners and habits as we were. Your roommate might see something that you find unacceptable and thoughtless as perfectly normal, and vice versa. It could happen that your roomie decides to throw a party on the night before your big presentation at work, when you were really counting on those extra few hours of sleep. In those cases, you need to have a talk and establish boundaries both of you will respect in the future.
The biggest issue is if someone lacks basic hygiene and manners. That is inexcusable. Forgetting to throw out the trash or leaving a dirty mug or a half-eaten bag of chips on the couch is normal. It happens to the best of us. On the other hand, if you constantly see that the other person doesn’t clean up after themselves, it’s a problem. You do not want to share a home with someone if you can’t trust that they washed the dishes properly.
As challenging as any move is on its own, it’s twice harder when you’re adjusting to a new place with someone. Once you get through dealing with the long-distance moving company, even more issues start to arise. If you think you know everything about a person, and you’ve thought of all the ways you could fight and annoy each other, you’re wrong. A lot of patience will be needed until you get the hang of things and get used to each other.
The simplest thing, such as decorating the place, could potentially ruin your friendship, depending on how stubborn you all are. If you have vastly different personal styles and you clash on everything that has to do with decorating your place, sit down and calmly talk about it. Finding a compromise is key in every situation. Figure out how to make both parties satisfied. You could DIY something everyone will love. Here are a few ideas you might find useful.
Suddenly finding yourself sharing a life with others takes some getting used to and is never easy. Especially if you’ve never lived with someone and you’re switching from an apartment to a house with a bunch of people. It could feel like moving into a college dorm. Having some privacy is important for everyone. Personal space could be hard to find if you’re cramped up in a living space with other people.
Talk this over with your flatmates – respecting other people’s boundaries is vital for making your living situation work. Sure, you guys are best buddies, two peas in a pod. But you can’t do everything together 24/7. The other person may be lacking privacy and needs some alone time. Find a way to be comfortable with having separate lives while living together.
The best part is that you will always have someone you can rely on to turn to for advice, support, or just company. You won’t have to worry about being lonely and making friends in the new city – you brought your own. A huge problem that people who are relocating alone face is the relocation depression that hits you once long-distance movers have finished their job. Having a friend by your side will ensure that the whole process of relocating goes a lot smoother, it’s like free therapy.
Even regular friendships require work. Living with a friend can take a toll on your relationship, so it might need some extra love and care. Try to remember the reasons why you initially wanted to live together before arguing about dirty dishes – you wanted to have fun. You can:
If you’re still thinking about the move and getting yourself some roomies, take into consideration all the pros and cons we have mentioned. Moving in with friends might not be as dreamy as you thought it would be. But the fact that you’re still even giving it a thought after reading what we had to say is a good sign you and your friends could have a happy life moving in together and some amazing stories you will tell your children one day.
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