Dating is fun and exciting, but sooner or later, you will come to a more serious stage of your relationship. If you’ve come here and you’re thinking about the next step, here are some tips for moving in together before you decide to take that giant leap of faith. No matter how much you enjoy being with each other now, living together is something entirely different, so you should look into it before you take this step.
Whether you’re simply ready to take the next step or you’re planning to get married soon, living together is probably what you have in mind. You might have lived with a roommate up until now, or you’ve spent years in your cozy studio. In either case, your entire life is about to change completely, and so is your relationship. To be sure both your partner and you alone are ready for this step, there are things to consider first. Let’s take a look at some of the most important things to discuss with your loved one before living together.
Before you get to start planning how to move, it would be a good idea to do some kind of a test run. This will give you a clearer picture of what your life together would look like, and you can see whether you enjoy it or not.
You’ve probably already started spending longer periods together. You sleep over at each other’s place every few days, and you even stay together for four or five days straight. While this might seem enough, remember that a couple of days at your partner’s place is not the same as living together permanently.
Thus, it is crucial that you spend more days together without coming back to your apartment to understand what it feels like to share your space permanently. You need to spend at least two weeks together without a break before you pack your apartment and move in with your loved one. Or is your partner going to come to your place? This brings us to the next thing you should discuss – where are you two planning to live?
If one of you lives in a studio and the other one lives in a one or two-bedroom flat, it is quite clear who will move where, as there’s no room for two in a studio. Otherwise, some couples find it difficult to decide who has to leave his nest and join the other one.
Even if leaving the current place is not an issue, some people simply don’t feel comfortable enough moving into their partner’s place. To avoid any discomfort, it is advisable to consider finding a new place. If you think that a new place is better for your fresh start together, talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about that option. Both of you should be happy with where you live. Plus, you will have so much fun decorating the place together, getting it furnished, and making it a cozy home where you two will begin a beautiful next chapter of your life together.
No matter how thrilled you are about the next stage, don’t forget to spend some time alone and let your partner do the same. Just because you two are about to share the same home, that doesn’t mean that you have to do absolutely everything together. On the contrary – it is beneficial for your mental health to spend some quality me-time when you feel that you need some privacy. Having your own freedom and being able to do activities on your own is crucial for a healthy relationship. If you don’t have a separate room, talk to your loved one about having your corner where you can have some privacy and relax on your own.
The same goes for some outdoor activities and your hobbies. You don’t have to go jogging together if this is something you prefer doing on your own. You might also want to go to a café alone every once in a while. Perhaps you have your favorite, cozy place where you go to read a book and just be by yourself. Whatever it is, it is essential that you cherish it and give your loved one some space to do the same. Holding on to your old habits and ways can also help with making the transition smoother.
People have different habits and enjoy different things. No matter how similar you are to your significant other, both of you have certain habits that simply do not align. This will become more evident when you move in together. Some of your habits will probably get on your partner’s nerves and vice versa. Of course, if something is bothering the other person, you should always be open to compromise and change what you can so as not to annoy each other.
That doesn’t mean that you should change absolutely everything. Keeping some of your daily routine or certain habits that you enjoy in particular can help you feel more comfortable and keep the transition smooth and easy. Yes, you should be open to changes, but you should also give your new roomie some slack and accept your boyfriend/girlfriend for who they are without much nagging.
Even though some find it uncomfortable to talk about the money with their significant other (or anyone else for that matter), this talk is crucial if you’re planning to live together anytime soon. You shouldn’t start developing packing strategies for moving yet if you haven’t discussed how you’re planning to handle the expenses when you start your life together. After all, if you’re about to share your space with this person and start building your future together, you shouldn’t feel discomfort talking about anything, right?
Even though you might not feel like talking about the money now, you should know that it’s still better to do it now than after you move in. That way, you’ll both know how the other one feels about certain expenses and what each of you is used to when it comes to expenses and savings. You don’t have to create a strict plan, but you should be able to come up with some kind of a deal on how you’re planning to pay rent, bills, etc. It might be a good idea to come up with a monthly budget together.
In addition to moving expenses, you should also plan your future costs with your beloved. For some people, the most convenient solution is to create a plan for a monthly budget and split the costs 50/50. If the entire month is too long a period for you, you might find it easier to plan your finances weekly.
Write down how much you will spend on rent, utilities, groceries, and other expenses and split the total amount in half. If one earns significantly more than the other, some couples find it alright to let the one who makes more chip in more money. Pick whatever solution you find most convenient for your particular situation. What’s crucial is that you talk about it and come to a mutual agreement. Both of you should be comfortable with how you’re going to handle your finances when you take the next level.
Moving in with your boyfriend or moving in with your girlfriend means your loved one will be there every day. You’ll see each other’s “ugly” side more often. When you come back from work after a lousy day, you might take it out on your loved one through no fault of their own. That’s when you should pause. Of course, you should be there for each other, go through difficult situations together, and rely on each other for everything. But you shouldn’t let the romance die. You should take a break from everyday problems and remember to have fun and relax.
Do the things you enjoyed doing together before, be it going to the cinema or taking a long weekend to go to the countryside. You can throw a party and invite your friends over, go out for dinner, catch your favorite theatre show, or simply go for a walk. Do whatever you enjoy so as to leave the troubles behind and recapture the magic of your beginning together.
It is a common phenomenon among couples. Before you notice, you two are spending more and more time in your apartment. You’re in your pajamas more frequently, and you’ve watched all five seasons of your favorite TV show in just a couple of days. While this can be relaxing at first, you need to be careful with how long you stay indoors. Just because you’re living together, you don’t have to spend every weekend binge-watching your favorite show. On the contrary – it is essential that you keep the romance alive and schedule dates just like you did when you first started dating. You could pencil in your date nights at the beginning of every month and stick to that plan.
After a while, you’ll feel comfortable enough to spend your anniversary at home and forget about the presents. That’s alright, and you don’t have to read too much into it. But again, it is still nice to remember important dates and surprise your significant other with a small gesture.
No matter how big of a change this might be, it is still a good one. You are taking the next step and committing to your significant other, so you should celebrate that.
Be sure you start planning the actual relocation early enough to avoid stressful situations. It would be a good idea to start thinking about how and where to donate old appliances and declutter to make the packing part easier. If you still find it too troublesome or you just don’t have the time to deal with it, you can always turn to experts and ask for packing and unpacking services.
Whatever you do, just be sure you take the necessary steps to ease the relocation and focus on your love and what awaits you. Look forward to taking the next step and things to come and start planning your lovely future together.