Moving for love when you’re in a long-distance relationship is a big step, especially if you’re relocating to another state or country. Leaving everything familiar behind and going to another city in a new state or even a country can be a difficult thing to do, especially if you are not sure if it will work out.
Building a relationship requires a lot of work, but for most, trying to maintain a long-distance one is setting it up to fail. However, in recent years, researchers have found that these relationships don’t just work, but they can often be healthier. People can have the same levels of commitment, communication, intimacy, and overall satisfaction as geographically close ones.
The reason behind this is that our brains can become habituated when exposed to the same people and situations, which means we get used to a person and it becomes dull. When we have an encounter with new stimuli, our senses become heightened, which is why couples seem so inseparable. With this in mind, it seems that research has proven that the distance between couples can be beneficial for relationships. However, it all depends on both of you.
Like with everything in life, there are pros and cons of long-distance relationships you need to be aware of. With the distance between you, you can appreciate the freedom and autonomy you both have. Not to mention that you will have time and separation to focus on each other when you’re together, and on school or your jobs when you’re not. You will also gain a better appreciation for your relationship. The time you share will be focused only on you.
When you see each other you will have a sense of rejuvenation and feel very happy, but that also means you will feel left alone or let down once you return to your everyday life. And there’s also the pressure of making sure that you spend enough quality time together. There will also feel pressured to avoid having disagreements and potential fights during your visit. Because you share so little time with each other, you might feel insecure, but there’s no need. Regardless of where your beloved lives, you should enjoy the time you spend without any pressure. Just be confident in what you have.
If you want to stay in touch always, set up phone dates and treat them seriously, as you would physical dates. You can try having webcam dates if you feel like it would help. Apart from calling for a date, call your partner randomly, even if it’s just for a minute. Call to check how your beloved is doing. You can also send personalized emails or even letters if you want to try the old-fashioned way. If you want to show your appreciation and affection, you can surprise your loved one with small and personal gifts from time to time. Nothing extravagant, just something that will show your feelings.
Moving for love is a big step in a person’s life, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Discussing your life goals and needs with your partner is a must. It may look like it is too soon or possibly too awkward to discuss any long-term goals, but this is the time to think about this. Anxiety about moving to another state for a relationship will only increase if you don’t communicate with your partner. It is vital for both of you to be sure about the direction in which your relationship is going before packing your things and going to another city. If it seems like you can’t imagine yourself and your partner together for at least a couple of years upfront, then relocating might not be such a good idea.
We don’t doubt your relationship is strong, but you need to be sure about making this big decision. There are certain things you should consider before moving for love. We’ve singled out some of the essential things both you and your partner should think about before going to another state or country.
One of the most important things you should consider is if your relationship will become something more serious, which can be hard to tell sometimes, especially if you communicate online. However, there are some clues that can give you insight into your partner’s intentions. The biggest sign that relationships are developing into something more serious is if your significant other was the one who asked you to move in together.
If one of you is still enrolled in a school or bound to their current place of residence by career, then you should rethink your plans. Whichever one of you is not bound to their current city, he or she should be the one to move to the other partner’s home. In cases where one of you is at the end of your education or current job, all you have to do is wait. However, if you’re both tied up to your current places, then you should postpone your plans.
If one of you does not want to leave their friends behind, then you need to reach a mutual agreement. Leaving friends and family is difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. In today’s modern age, you can stay in touch with your closes friends and family members, and of course, you can always visit them. So, talk with your partner, and discuss an arrangement that won’t leave either of you without friends.
Are either of you emotionally or physically dependent on a family member? Can you leave them or not? One of the reasons either of you can be opposed to making this big step is precisely this – dependency on a family member. Some people want to stay close to their family members, especially if they are older parents that are alone, or even worse, sick. However, if only one of you has this problem, then the weight of the move falls on the other person.
Every big step in relationships needs to be discussed. If you already did that, then you probably came across a major question – Who will be the one who moves? This is a crucial question but also a very challenging task. As we said before, relocation is not an easy decision to make, and you need to carefully consider all of the factors, like family, career, education, and finances, among others. Living in one of the best cities for finding a new job would make a decision about relocation easier because carrier obstacles would not be a problem. While assessing the situation, it is essential to know that your partner is willing to do the same thing for you if it’s possible. If you feel like that is not the case, then you should reconsider your decision.
If you’re certain about moving in with your partner, then you need to think about finances and plan your moving out budget. The important thing is to work out the financial aspect so that everything will go smoothly. You need to arrange how you will pay for things – by splitting the expenses in half or based on income, whatever both of you feel would be appropriate. For starters, you should find a job after relocating, so you can be sure you will have enough money to cover your new life together. Save some money for your relocation and expenses you’ll have before getting a job in the new state. Just be sure to make a plan on time so finances don’t become a cause for a fight in the long-term future. It’s better to start planning before you start your future life.
After you overcome your fear of moving and all of your concerns, it’s time to plan out your life. Even though you love your partner, you are going to have to adjust to a new town. If you’re not sure you enjoy being in the city or haven’t gotten to know it, you should look further into that. You need to see whether the idea of spending more time there makes you feel stuck or fills you with dread. Don’t worry, fear of relocation is a common thing. That is why it is important to imagine yourself in your partner’s city so that you can see whether or not you could live there. Would you like your partner to move to your town? Or would you like to go to a completely different city? Finding best beach towns or even vegan-friendly cities to live in might be a solution you are both happy with. If you’re rethinking your decision to move to your partner’s town, then it may not be the right choice. Take your time and think about your decision.
Are you moving in with your significant other right away? Are you going to find a place together, or do you think it would be better for you to rent an apartment on your own? These are fundamental questions that you need to discuss with your partner. Some people like living by themselves until they are completely sure about their relationship, while others want to move in together straight away. These decisions are difficult, but they need to be discussed together before the move, not after. It takes time to make this important step and this decision shouldn’t be rushed.
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