What are the most important milestones in every relationship? You have already traveled together and celebrated anniversaries and each other’s birthdays. So, is it now the right time to move in together? Moving in with a boyfriend is a serious step in a relationship and a huge test for your romance. It is all fun and games until someone starts leaving their dirty socks in the bedroom, or just forgets to put down the toilet seat.
Do not panic – we have it all covered. Living with a guy, or any other person for that matter, is not easy. However, we are going to prepare you for the good and bad of co-living, and leave little to no space for any surprises. Relocating for love is a big step, and every romance is going towards this point. So, if you two have reached it, congrats! It is a new chapter in your lives, and we are going to help you make it memorable.
Money Talk and Other Hot Questions
Some couples prefer dating for years before they decide to take the next step. Others are more adventurous and do not hesitate to jump into it as soon as possible. Every relationship is different, and there are no strict rules or schedules for when the timing is right. Follow your gut and make your own story.
However, regardless of how long and well you know each other, there are still some not so pleasant topics which you should go through before you start living under the same roof. Just to clear things out and avoid any misunderstandings.
Finances and different points of view when it comes to money are the most common causes of arguments among couples, so here are the questions you two should discuss before you go house hunting:
- The cost of buying or renting a house. Whether you are buying a property or renting it, you need to have a plan on how are you going to pay it and share the expenses. Are you going to split the cost and share it 50-50, is one of you going to take a loan or is someone paying more? Regardless of the option you go for, be open about your possibilities and finances from the start. You should also be familiar with the documents and other things you are going to need to rent a house.
- A budget guide. It is always good to determine a monthly starter budget so that you can spend your money rationally. Write down your expenses during your first few months so that you can track your costs.
- Debts and credit scores. Being honest about these topics is crucial because often, when moving in, people are signing legal documents together, and they have shared responsibilities and obligations.
Daily spendings. Besides bills and rent, you also have to count on spending on groceries, appliances, and who knows what else. If you are sharing bills, then you should also share other expenses. Or, one person can cover the rent and bills, while the other one covers the daily necessities. It is up to you to make some sort of an agreement.
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8 Lessons You’ll Learn When Moving in With a Boyfriend
You thought you knew everything about each other? Think again, because once you two start planning your life together, unknown habits and personality traits are going to start popping out of nowhere. So, prepare yourself to meet a new side of your Mr. Right, and learn how to love his flaws.
1. He Listens to Only 50 Percent of the Things You Say
Selective hearing is a thing among guys, apparently because when you say something that does not work for them, they just pretend they did not hear you. But in some cases, they really do not hear you. It seems as their brains do not register 50% of the words their female partners say. But before we judge them, let us not forget that women also are not paying attention when it comes to their favorite football team or stories from work.
2. He Likes You, But He Likes His Video Games More
When you start spending 24 hours with your man, you will quickly realize how much hours he can spend in front of a screen, especially if he is into video games. Don’t try too hard to change that. Instead, try joining him and beating him in his own game. Once he is defeated, he will no longer be so confident to play around you.
3. He Creates Mess With Every Step He Takes
Boys are used to always having someone to clean after them – in some cases, you can thank their mothers for that. So be ready that in the beginning, your male partner might leave his clothes all over the place. Besides, he probably does not know how to clean the dishes or the house. If you do not want to turn into his mother, just ignore him while he is begging you to iron his shirt or wash his clothes.
4. He Is Not Like You
Living together is the strongest reality check for any relationship. Be prepared that during the first few months, you are going to discover many of his annoying habits or rituals. And so will he. It is a learning process for both partners, but as long as you both are ready to compromise and understand each other, or maybe change something, you are all good.
5. You Will Love Staying at Your Place
If you have never had roommates before, you are about to see what a fun rollercoaster that is. Living with your partner means that you will always have someone to come home to. It is someone who will drink his morning coffee with you and also someone who will be there when you burn your lunch. Spending every day together can be a real annoyance, but most of the time, you are going to love every second of it.
6. You Can Eat and Gain Weight Without Feeling Bad About It
Living with a guy means that there always has to be some food around because they can always eat. It does not matter if it is healthy or high-carb food, boys are not picky and expect that around one, you can hardly maintain your diet. And that’s fine. Sometimes, there is nothing better than spending hours and binge-watching your favorite TV shows and snacking with your partner.
7. Your Period Is None of His Business
Every month there are those days when girls have to do what girls have to do. He can buy you ice cream, be patient when you are having a meltdown or mental breakdown, but do not expect from him to take out yours wrapped up trash. Spare him of that, because he was too nice when you were screaming at him because he bought 50% dark chocolate instead of 70%.
8. You Can Blame Everything on Him
Do you need an excuse to go home earlier? Do you want to skip drinking coffee with that boring friend? You are moody, nervous, late? Feel free to blame it all on him. He probably does not care, and you have a perfect excuse for any situation.
Mistakes You Don’t Want to Make
Once people move in together, they tend to relax and get a bit too comfortable around each other. Usually, they care less about certain stuff or do not put as much effort into doing something as they did before. It happens to everyone, and even though you should be yourself around your significant other, here are some things that girls tend to neglect once they move in:
- Hair. Yes, he will notice if you did not wash your hair for days.
- Clothes. Yes, you can hang around all day in loose pajamas, but occasionally, wear something nice.
- Complaining. You cannot complain about everything and expect him to do all the work.
- Criticizing. You should not act like his mother and comment on everything he does or does not do.
- Cleaning. If you immediately start cleaning home after him, do not expect that to change ever.
Advantages of Living Together
Although there are plenty of challenges and obstacles, there are many more positive reasons for couples to share much more than just a bed. If you’re having second thoughts, or you are not sure if that is the right decision, here is our list of advantages to remind you why this is a good idea:
- Cooking. Usually, one person knows how to cook, which means goodbye sandwiches and fast food meals. If that is not the case, try learning how to cook together, it will be fun if not fulfilling.
- Motivation. If, for example, your partner exercises regularly or goes to the gym, it will be much easier for you to find the motivation to do something about your body, and actually be consistent about it. The same is with other hobbies and activities. You motivate each other to become better versions of yourselves.
- Timing. Once you start sharing a roof, you will spend many more hours together, but on the other hand, you will have more time for other people and stuff. If you used to live in opposite parts of town, or different places, going on a date was probably taking a lot of your time and money. Now you have those extra hours with him at home.
Money. If you two were renting two different apartments on your own, you would be able to reduce costs by sharing a flat. Save the money you spend on bills, rent, or groceries – you will have a few extra bucks for traveling or other fun couple activities.
The Part When You Actually Are Going to Move
Do you have an idea of how much stuff you both have? Do you like them all? How are you going to pack? Are you going to ask friends for help? Relocating can include a lot of work, from packing and unpacking to throwing out some old stuff, organizing a garage sale, arranging items around, etc. So, have you two thought about it, or you are still wearing those pink shades and daydreaming about relocating together?
The reality of relocating is hard, and it involves a lot of effort and physical work. Especially if you are moving to another town or a country that is far away. Because of that, you need to think about those things in advance and perhaps consider hiring a moving company. These companies offer moving services such as storage, packing, or even auto transport. You do not have to think about finding packing supplies, boxes, or bubble wrap for protecting your belongings either.
It is no wonder that many people get anxious about moving out. It is all very emotionally challenging, so we advise you to create a relocation expenses checklist, some sort of a strategy for packing, and then go through them one by one. You can both write down the stuff you want to pack and create new apartment shopping lists. Then share and compare them, and see if there are any matching items. It is not like you have to have two ironing boards, two microwaves, or two/three whatever. It will save you some space, and it will help with the organization.
Time to Think About a House-Warming Party
If you have read it all, it means that you are probably committed enough to go through this process successfully. And is there a better way to celebrate the beginning of a new chapter in your lives than to throw a huge house-warming party? Everyone loves a good house party – the only difference is that now you have to clean everything on the morning after. But hey, at least you will get some cool presents for your new place.
Stay Calm and Don’t Overthink
Relocating is never easy, but doing it with a boyfriend is ten times more complicated and exciting at the same time. So, although it is a phase all couples would wish to skip and fast forward, unfortunately, you cannot avoid it. Instead of overthinking and going through emotional stress about every little detail, stay calm during the move, and try to enjoy it. And, do not forget to take some cute pics of sleeping among boxes, it is all going to be a fun memory one day.
