There are many relationship milestones for couples: from the first date and kiss, meeting the parents to moving in together. But how soon is too soon to move in together?
Has your romance started spontaneously, and you just feel that they’re the right person for you after a couple of months? Have you been together for a while now, and the question’s been raised before already? Have you both found yourselves in a rough financial situation? Does moving in together seem better than moving back in with parents at 25? How long do people normally date before taking this step? We’ve prepared some words of advice to help you get answers to these questions and concerns that may have been troubling you lately.
The number of couples who move in together before getting married has been on the rise in recent years. Statistics show a drastic change over the last 50 years, and most people in recent years believe that six months to a year of dating is enough to move in with your partner. Those are just some statistics, and, of course, every couple is different in a variety of ways. This is why you’ll have to evaluate your decision specifically based on your preferences, your needs, and your specific situation.
If you are a new couple and still feel the initial thrill of the first date, moving in together after a couple of months (or weeks) won’t be advisable, no matter your circumstances. On the other hand, if you’ve been dating for more than a year, and have discussed living together in the past, you’re probably already all set and will know how to handle the situation. But as we’ve already said, there are no rules set in stone when the matters of the heart are concerned. The only thing that matters is that you don’t jump into anything without giving it a proper thought.
This is probably one of the first questions that will come to your mind. Especially if you’ve been researching how soon is too soon to move in together. Figuring out how to move, getting or renting a place together is one of the most important decisions you will have to make. And you will want to be sure that you’re doing it with the right person. Do you feel that you can trust your significant other with everything? Have you thought about it before, and are you both ready for this important change in your lives? Consider the following before you make any final decisions regarding this matter.
Sometimes couples run into problems that can be small things that can get out of hand or larger issues, like an affair, for example. This is the perfect recipe for a bad decision. At the moment that you feel hurt, betrayed, or just want to strengthen your relationship, you may see living together as the perfect solution or an impulse.
So, if you’re going through a crisis, try to remember that what you need at the moment is time to let your emotions settle down and to rethink your situation with a clear mind, or with a clearer mind, at least. You want to understand what happened and why not get a place together to try and fix things.
Going on with a similar line of thinking, have you gone through some troubling times already? Maybe you’ve been together for a couple of months, the love is flowing, and you haven’t even had any serious arguments. Perhaps you think that this will go on forever, but it won’t be enough to make any important decisions, like moving in together.
Having a serious argument that can test you as a couple is kind of a necessary evil. Not that you should create one just for the sake of it, but if you haven’t experienced it, then it may be too soon to share living space. As most people would advise you, you’ll want to see how both of you cope with hard times, and how you carry yourselves when you run into a big problem.
Are you ready to discuss the financial side of things with your partner? Do you trust them enough, and do they trust you enough to share their financial situation with you? Maybe they don’t know about any of your debts, or they haven’t told you about any student loans or credit card debt they have? Salaries, money, and how you spend it can be a taboo topic, and you should feel free to share your opinions about it with your significant other before you move in together. You will have to discuss what percentage of the rent you will pay, and think about how you will split the other costs of living as well as the packing and moving services. You will have to discuss your budget, especially if you’re moving out for the first time. This can be a hard discussion to have, especially as most couples don’t earn the same amount. Nevertheless, it’s very important to be upfront about it to avoid problems in the future.
In case you still have your doubts after a long period of reevaluation, then it might be a bad move to make at the moment. Perhaps your partner is rushing you into this decision. Maybe you’re doing it for some other reasons and aren’t even aware of how big of a decision this can be. Make no mistake; it is perfectly normal to have some doubts about such an important step in life. But if you’re still unsure about it after you’ve weighed all of your options and plans for the future, then you probably shouldn’t do it.
On the other hand, the second-thoughts that you’ve been having might not have a foothold in reality, and things may work just fine in the end. Whatever the case, it’s essential to be honest with yourself and take a look at the current state of your romance in the most unbiased way possible.
At the end of the day, if you decide that you’ve been together for long enough and that you’re both ready to move in together, at least be sure to have an exit plan. Making such a plan won’t be the most pleasant thing to do, and you’ll hope that you will never have to put it in motion. Nevertheless, knowing that you have an escape route might give you the needed peace of mind and allow you to focus on making your cohabitation really work.